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life clips from Derek Lane

Jul. 12th, 2015

11:02 pm - happy birthday to me, and my live journal, which turns 10 today.

It's hard to believe that this long-neglected Live Journal turns 10. It's also amazing that, sadly, the entries written in this thing, for the most part, do not reflect me at my happier phases of life, so are not very flattering to yours truely.

I've written of sad times, but nothing good over the last few years. To anyone who still, for some reason, checks this thing out these days, I'm sorry that I haven't mentioned all of the places I've seen, things I've done which I thought impossible 10 years ago, and the people I've met while at these places, doing the things that I've done.

Will I do better over the next 10 years? I doubt it, but you never know.
Too bad I couldn't have linked several haytell messages to this thing, or there existence would have been a more elaborate diary than anything I've ever maintained in life, especially in writing.

Jul. 12th, 2012

10:41 pm - Happy Birthday LJ

I started this Blog in 2005 on my birthday, mainly because of the fact that a lot of people I knew had them, not necessarily because I thought I'd write anything worthy of reading. Still, the ramblings I churned out were on par with thequality of those writing at that time, and it was fun. Now, few people blog, and when they do, either something really good has happened, or something tarably bad has. There are the few exceptions though, and those are written very well, and appear on the "friends," pages of many, much more than what I write... Why? Simple, I can't be bothered taking the time most days to do anything but reflect on the events in them.

At this point in my birthday entries, I always do the math to calculate the percentage of the year I documented on this blog. However, I've only written 3 entries in the last year, which would make the percentage an embarrassingly small number.
So maybe you, the fine reader of this, can help me out a bit. No, I'm not going to give you my credentials, what I am going to do is help you do the math exercise, so you can see for yourself how well you've covered things. Hey... some people do surveys, so why not this.

First, look at the number of posts you've done from any given date, to exactly 1 year before that, and write that number somewhere, or remember it.
Now we're going to go back to algebra class, and setup up a proportion equation and virtually cross-multiply to get the percentage... Yay for basically doing math in notepad, which I did, kind of... I used a bns to do this...
So, ok... ok... I'll do it... for this year, the setup would be this:
Time to cross-multiply
now, work out everything to the left of the equals sign.
but for sake of making things easier to divide, you can flip the statement around
Now, divide across to isolate x

Now, if you plug in the respective numbers in your case, and follow, you'll learn something that is probably much cooler than I. What did I learn? I learned, as I feared, that the percentage of the year covered was in deed a very embarrassingly low number...

So, to compinsate, I will do a proper entry recapping things and post it with in the next week. In the mean time, I will resume the process of actually having the coolest birthday I've had in a while. Its not because something amazingly awesome has happened today which makes is so cool, its because a bunch of little things have. Most of which, I shall tell you about soon.

Current Mood: contented and warm.

May. 12th, 2012

02:38 pm - 5 minutes or 5 years

Its wild how sometimes 5 minutes of your life can change the rest of it. It was 5 years ago to the day that I graduated from Gardner-Webb university. I was excited at the thoughts of future jobs and opportunities, such as my job to entertain guests, and the opportunity to stuff my face later that day. Ambitious much? Frankly, I was glad to be out because there was no way I could have survived more academia. Over these last 5 years, I have experienced several things that I felt like I would be unable to deal with at the time, but I have. I've seen extremes of human kindness and cruelty that I thought mainly existed in books. I've invested a lot of time and money in to audio and music pursuits and am seeing the payoff. Through all of that, I've learned more about myself and those around me, showing love and caring for those who are loyal, and dealing with those who were not in the manor they deserved. May these next 5 years be more peaceful and prosperous for not only me, but all of you who are reading this.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Mar. 3rd, 2012

12:02 am - we never know do we.

Life ticks along nicely. Time does the same as all kinds of random and mostly contented thoughts go through my head, as I go through my twitter timeline reading about people meals, radio shows, songs...

, GoldfingaProductions R.I.P. to a good friend and brother. Much love! @blackgayninja

I keep reading more tweets, more random yip yap, and then, as if it were a cartoon, I do a double take. "Hang on, back up..." What did that say?

, GoldfingaProductions R.I.P. to a good friend and brother. Much love! @blackgayninja Will miss you!!.

No. Surely not. Yup, that's what it said though. That twitter name could only be Aaron. Like the guy or not, lets face it, he is/was one of the more iconic and forward personalities in certain circles, and someone I was suppose to get to know, as I promised. The last time we spoke, several people seemed to be mercilessly picking on him; but, unlike most times, he wasn't coming back with anything. He was just kind of taking it in sort of a defeated way. I wrote him in a teamtalk message, and told him that I felt like there had to be a lot more to him than what he felt he could show, and that I'd like to get to know that person. He said that there was in deed, and thanked me.
That makes the third person around my age that I've known and lost, and the third time where I felt like I could have done more, but didn't because of my own self-absorption. Life is short, and even if it isn't for some, chunks of time where one can take advantage of certain opportunities definitely are.
Over the last few weeks, I've told some people things that I never thought I would, or even could, but I still haven't done enough.

Pride and its derivatives seem to hold us back, and keep us from living and loving as best, and as much, as we can. They have for me, although less than an hour ago I would have said otherwise.

"God is good sweetie and he has and will continue to take care of me"(Aaron R bradley.)
That was a response to one of several who knew more than I did, and were curious about his well being. His last twitter post was a bit over a week ago, and said "Relaxing and taking it easy (@ The Corner." Ironic much?
All I can say to you Aaron is that I hope the goodness of God results in eternal relaxation for you. May the love and kindness you gave to others, be given back to you in abundance.

Jan. 17th, 2012

01:06 pm - Testing

I've seen some people use the iPhone app on their iOS devices. I've never really cared about being one of those people, until today. Why? Simple, because I happen to be very very bored at this point. So I said to myself… Self? You should be a good person, and give yourself another means of writing in a journal that you rarely bother writing in. Perhaps the update frequency will change, given that writing has become a lot more convenient as of five minutes ago. But then again… Who knows. It just so happens, that I am a tease in some situations after all.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Jul. 13th, 2011

12:03 am - happy internal upgrade

This birthday has been the best I've had in the last 6 years.
Why? Simply put, because I didn't get dumped, nothing broke, and no one died.
Mom made me taco salad and got cupcakes as well, plus a few comedy dvd's the content of which seems to be promissing.
I also would like to wish this lj a happy6th birthday.
This thing has seen all kinds of changes, and the extreme good and bad points in my life, and it will continue to do the same.
A journal I kept for 3 years on my bns was born on my 16th birthday, and every year I use to figure out the exact persentege of how much I would write.
When this journal was born, I picked up the tridition in 2006, so with that, its math time.
365/100 = 24 / x

Yes, only 6% of the year? gees. Pethetic.
I'll do better this year mommy, I promiss.

Current Mood: annoyed due to posting late
Current Music: Good peoples on teamtalk and messenger.

Jun. 25th, 2011

12:37 am - its time for PDAudio realtime 2011

If my memory serves me properly, it was on this date in 2006 that borrisinabox and I were getting things ready for that respective realtime. Though fun, it was certainly not issue free. In fact, it was split up in to two issue-filled days of randomness.
If it could break, it did. Ranging from the phones, to the computer, to even the power at one point, things kept flopping over and dying. Yet, there were segments of that stream which were way more amusing than they probably should have been.
Skipping forward to the previous realtime stream, we find a rather nice improvement overall, however, the issues reallocated themselves to my face. From sounding like a smoker, to squeaking and back again, that allowed all kinds of bad things to occur.
What will happen when realtime2011 takes over the TBRN virtual airwaves? What/who is the zoom dog? Will we find ourselves scanning the virtual radio dial to pull in unheard content from AM Talk 0? Will the PDAudio band exist? What about you, the possible listener. What will you do to cause or affect events as they play out? Find the answers to these and various unasked questions by giving TBRN a listen at 8:03pm. Why 8:03? That time adds up to 11, so why not...
In the unlikely event you don't know how to listen, go to http://www.tbrn.net and you'll find several ways to listen.

Jun. 9th, 2011

04:38 pm - extremes much?

When I want something, I do whatever it takes to get it. Be it getting a doughnut or carrying out a death threat, if I feel something needs to happen to better the life of a family member, close friend, or... yours truly, most of the time, it happens.
Perhaps the examples above are a bit extreme, in fact I know they are; However, I think I've sent a clear message, this time, to some desk jockey at Microsoft.
You see dear ladies and gentlemen, it shouldn't really matter if my windows live passport had the likely possibility of dying yesterday, at age 11, when I broke the password. Its stupidly easy to get all the contacts from a backup of my primary Miranda database, and add them to my live account I typically use for the netbook. However, I couldn't leave well enough alone and let it die.
The previous post lists the issues I had resetting the password, the main issue being that the one and only e-mail address linked to said account, had died around 8.6 years ago. So the next logical step was to call Bell South, to see if, by some random chance, I could reclaim and/or setup the long-lost address. Turns out, I could easily talk to a rather nice sounding lady, and with a bit of charming here and there get the address back... The catch? I would have had to do this 6 years ago, before AT&T Baught Bell South, and munched its customers and resources, affectively making it impossible for new email addresses to exist under the bellsouth.net domain.
Right then, to the windows live side of things...
MSN provides the windows live services, so it only stood to reason that if I could find some sort of number for MSN, I could eventually reach a human who could either help me, or polightly refuse in very broken and heavily accented english. Turns out that I actually got a very angry sounding, but very easily understood pre-recorded lady who told me that I'd get no where due to not having a paid account. She was sympathetic enough to say that http://www.windowslivehelp.com may have something that may fix my problems. Believe it or not, it actually did... Sort of...
One of the sanarios fit the bill perfectly. It was for those who had lost all access to the provided methods of password recovery: Email, SMS, etc. Upon making that discovery, I called quinn to make sure my tbrn.net address was active, and in deed it was. It was then that he quickly found the radio button allowing me to answer the security question I had picked in 2000... my mothers maden name.
Very simple question, very obvious answer... however, did I really mistype the answer twice at that time? Did something break somewhere in windows live land? Looked like it, as my attempts to answer got me locked out of answering the security question.
But yet, there was another option... Human varification. *sies*
After solving another captcia, I got a form where I could fill out as much information as I knew, so that an actual person could determin if I was worthy to access my contacts. Name? check. Zipcode? check. Birthday? check. Any password ever used on the account?
Hmm. Thought I knew this originally, but wanted to make sure. So, I did some research to see if I could recover my recently used password from a 2 year old miranda database, and was successful.Collapse )

Now, I wait and see if I get authorized with in the next 24 hours. If I don't I still at least have a private forum in the windows live solution center which I can use all by my little self.

Current Mood: hungryhungry

Jun. 8th, 2011

11:38 am - gees, really?

I have an 11 year old msn passport that is linked to a bellsouth.net email address which died 9 years ago.
I have contacts which don't exist on my secondary passport so would like to get the stupid thing recovered.
Granted, it was my own fault that I got blocked out of the account because I tried to add said primary account to the netbook, getting the password wrong in the process. I could recover the stupid thing if the bellsouth address was valid, but bellsouth.net goes directly to AT&T's site because they ate bellsouth ages ago.
I've had a few other very annoying things happen today on top of this, and because I've started working out again, can't even make this a Die day, because lying in bed hurts.

Mar. 11th, 2011

06:14 am - crazy... just crazy

I fell asleep in mid sentence last night writing this, so finished up the last one this morning... at least, the last one which made sense.
So given what I wrote got me relaxed, for some reason, enjoy the following
As I lie here thinking about random stuff, being unable to sleep, I figured I may as well write them somewhere if for no other reason than to parse them out. I've got to be up really early tomorrow/later today to go to the neurologists office to get my seizure meds renewed. This, for those who are not in the know means I go to an office about 30 miles away to wait for about 30 minutes for an appointment which takes about 5 to complete. This will keep me on what I'm taking, and provide way too much money than is necessary to circulate in this crazy economy... that is, if you can call what said neurologist will get from my insurance a form of money circulation.
Ok, so that last is stretching things a bit, but still, definite waste of time and resources. It should go a lot better than the events which happened as a result of last years little neuro visit. Its wild how 1 extra 0 lead to so much crap
What I do know is that I have a lot of amazing friends who have stuck with me through the events of the last year. They've been there through all of the amazingly awesome times, through the crappy ones, and they've told me things that I sometimes didn't want to hear, but some of those harsh reality checks were the things which have kept me sane, to put it likely. It concerns me though how some people are so crazy enough to trust and befriend those who drive people to such extremes of brokenness that it would take several to help patch up the resulting mess. Its clear that if someone can behave or treat someone 1 way to further there cause with another, the person currently reaping the benefits could be the next stepping stone once they have been built-up high enough to be stepped on. I saw a conversation between this person and others on twitter last night which stated there mutual inability and/or lack of a desire to hurt people, and that they would do anything it took to keep anyone from herting if there actions caused pain... Really? Ok, sure. Why is it that people are so inherently stupid or careless in not just there treatment of others, but in the things they do in general? I'm proud to say that those who I am honored to call friends don't roll that way, and it was every random message, every teamtalk/phone/etc. conversation, and especially those over the last 4 months which have shown me how blessed I am. I have found my smile again, I have found that part of me which can love and be loved, and that which is worth such treatment. I've once again found the resolve to proudly walk away from a situation where someone may have chosen someone else over me, or just wasn't "fillin' it," as it were, knowing what they are going to be missing.
Now, the whole attraction/dating/relationships thing is a separate rant altogether, one I'm not even going to get started on tonight. All I know is that there were a lot of good things said on the subject during the Feb. 12th episode of my show, although the more I've learned and observed over the last few years, the less sense any of it makes. Again, later on that one. For now, I just need to sleep. This random splatting of words on this virtual page may have confused some of you, or perhaps bored you, but there they are.

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